something inside me i would never understand

there's something inside me.

tat i'll never understand.

i dunno wat issit.

but i know its there.

maybe its the insecurity towards love.

maybe its the question to love.

maybe its the desire to be loved.

maybe its just plainly cos of love.

who knows?

i definitely dunno.

wat can i say?

that i dont understand myself?

that i hate myself?

that i'm too stupid?

when it comes to the game,

L O V E

i'm totally an idiot.

i'm really stupid.

i have many questions.

for you n for me.

how can i ever liked you?

why am i so stupid to believe you?

am i really tat stupid?

why did i do tat?

am i tat irritating?

too much to ask.

but totally no answer to it.

am i just trying to hide it?

or plainly just got over it?

do i still need answers?

or i know i need.

but nobody can tell me.

i think i'm just hiding.

i still haven't got over it.

but why? why me?

i think i'm really stupid.

really very stupid.

i dunno why...

whenever i get the same scent.

the scent of your cologne.

i can never stop wishing...

tat it was you standing there

standing right in front of me.

why am i so stupid?

too much tears for you.

is it my fault?

why? why me?

can you give me an answer?

i need to know.

at the very least..

tell me why...

let me walk out this trap.

let me go back to the darkness.

let me stop being trapped,

between the dark and the dim.

i think i have chosen the wrong light.

so just let me go back to total darkness.

let me forget you.

let me forget the pain.

let me forget our memories.

let me forget all tat have happened.

i dun wish to get hurt anymore.

not by you. not anymore.

why does my heart still feels the pain?

the pain you have caused.

i tot it has already turned to hatred?

i tot i was full of rage?

why can i still think of you?

i'm so stupid...

so so stupid...

i should learn to let go.

and get a new start.

let go...

and maybe i can start...

start a new r/s.

i dunno...

wat am i doing?

why did i cling onto this r/s?

i think wat i can do now...

is to let go... really let go...

is to go back to the darkness...

and wait for another light to guide me.

end of post.